What Are You Thinking? Phil. 4:8 lightbringer

Emotions

Having a hard time dealing with emotions lately.  I'm hoping that by writing out my thoughts I'll see something here that will help me deal with it.  I'm 50 so part of it is hormones.  My mom died a year ago and my Dad is in a three-week relationship and engaged to be married in July to a woman I've never met.  He's prayed, she's prayed; they both feel it's right and they are in their 70s so why wait.  I'm happy for him if it's really what God wants. But I'm very sad and miss my mom.  My other brothers and sisters (6 of them) are feeling the same but most are happy for Dad.  It wouldn't be so bad for us if he wasn't also moving to FL.  So we are gaining a new family member and her children and grandchildren but we feel we are losing our Dad.  We won't see him unless we go to FL which isn't going to happen as much as seeing him in NY.  I can't talk about it yet without crying.  I would like to connect with his fiance but the email isn't going through which makes me think that maybe the relationship won't either. But I don't want that for Dad.  He's happy.  I've talked to my Pastor and he thinks I haven't let my mom go.  Maybe but I really don't think that is the problem.  I just miss her and this is happening so fast with Dad.  We were just getting used to the idea of him moving to FL.  I want to stop crying.
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What's Happening with this site? Anyone watching WCBC?

I'm wondering if this part of cfaith is going away.  I like having my blog out here.  I haven't found a blog place on the new design. Am I missing something?
 
I'm thoroughly enjoying the West Coast Believer's Convention.  Anyone else watching?
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Friends

"In the long run, the friends who tend to count most are the ones who merely try to understand."
 
Last night was our first Bible study since my friends returned from Florida.  They were so kind in listening to me as I talked about Mom leaving earth and then Keith's brother leaving the week after we buried Mom.  I'm so grateful for friends who really care.  Not only did they listen but they prayed and encouraged.  They showed there love in tangible ways.
 
This Chinese Dogwood tree is from my friends in remembrance of Mom.  I am so blessed.
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Things I Like About You

I've been blessed to be married to Keith for going on 29 years.  A while ago I started a list of Things I Like About Keith. It's a great way to rekindle your love.
 
  1. He loves God
  2. He prays with me
  3. He's faithful to me
  4. He's a faithful worker at his job
  5. He helps me around the house
  6. His laugh and smile for me.
I also thought is would be good to list things that he is better at then me.  Like doing everything with excellence.  He's a better driver.  And, he goes to sleep much easier than I!
 
Spend time today appreciating the mate God has given you.

Two Sad Weeks

We drove to my home last week for a visit with my family and to bury Mom. We left home Saturday; drove 8 hours but it took us 10 to get home as we stopped in Angelica, NY. It is a fun little town with several antique shops. It was a nice diversion to a long drive. We also stopped in Johnson City at the huge Christian bookstore where I purchased more than enough books to keep me reading until the next visit! On Sunday my family went to church with Dad to help him through our first Mother's Day without Mom. Six of her seven children and families were with Dad. I'm not sure if it meant more to him or me! We were both crying when the last one walked in. One sister is the only family that couldn't arrive in time for church but she met us afterwards at one of my brother's home where we all had lunch and fun. Monday afternoon we put Mom's body in the ground. The flies were swarming her casket as she had been in a vault since Feb. 2nd. Frozen ground in the North presents a problem for quick burials. Afterwards we went to another brother's home for fellowship and dinner. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were dedicated to a garage sale for Dad to get rid of a lot of Mom's stuff. It was semi successful. People came out on Friday but not so much on Saturday. We took Dad to Friendlys and when we returned my brothers and sisters were there; so we had a nice visit. We left early Sunday morning (yesterday) for home.

Just as we were getting off the exit to arrive home yesterday, my husband's dad called to say his brother died. So we had to go home, repack, and leave for Ohio. We are now trying to comfort his family. His brother lived in Florida and is being cremated. We still don't know when. His mom asked me to do a service in his memory here at the house for just family. I've never done anything like this but I know God will help me say the right words to bring comfort and healing.

The good thing that has happened so far is that Keith's Dad said that he "believes in the man upstairs" and that he believes Jesus is Lord.  According to Rm. 10:9 that's all he needs in order to be saved.  Our prayer now is that the family will make Jesus Lord of their lives as well as Savior.
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Funnies

A friend forwarded some jokes to me that I thought were funny.
 
A little boy was overheard praying:
 
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
 
A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,
 
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
 
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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Have you looked up at the sky today?

I'm reading a Jewish book, The Empty Chair.  It has thoughts from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.  He asked someone who was busy this question.  I did today.  When I looked this morning there were snow clouds and just a glimmer of blue.  This afternoon the sun is shining.  They say if you don't like the weather here, just wait a minute.
 
It made me think of Jesus return.  Are we looking for Him?  Are we looking to the sky in anticipation of His return.  I am!  Even so, come Lord Jesus, come.
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There Were Ten Who Knew Him

I found this poem my Mom wrote in 1985 and thought I'd post it here.

There Were Ten Who Knew Him

There were ten who knew Him

They all had garments of white.

Each had a lamp to trim

Each heard the call in the night.

There were then who knew Him

They all grew weary and dropped off to sleep.

Each had intended his vigil to keep

Each had a lamp filled to the brim.

But the oil ran dry as the time slowly past

Not nearly enough, it would not last.

Five longed daily for a new taste of wine

Five never could find the time.

The hour drew near for the bridegroom’s return

Oh how the five had hearts that did burn.

While the others worked hard laboring long

Five sat in His presence and grew strong.

Then at last there came the shout

Five were ready with His Spirit were full.

The others had lamps that almost were out

Oh please share your oil with us.

But alas they knew could not be

You must seek Him yourself.

Too late they found out

How important His Spirit must be.

He maketh alive with His Spirit within

A fresh daily touch keeps my cup to the brim

Overflowing with joy at this knowledge of him.

WGH 8/85

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All is NOT well

So Sunday's worship went well. People came up to me afterwards and said they appreciated what I share.  One lady said that she saw a light around my face as I was talking.
 
Sunday night was not so good.  Pastor talked about "All is well".  That was mom's saying and the last song she heard before she left.  I really had a hard time listening.  I feel like all is not well.  It is with her as she is in heaven with Jesus, who she loved more than anyone.  But we are all left here wondering what caused her to go the way she did.  She was a woman of faith, spoke the word, lived the word, prayed the word, believed the word.  She was my faith hero.  I would add her to the list in Hebrews.  Yet, she died sick and in pain.  Doesn't fit with what she was confessing, nor what Dad was confessing, nor what I was confessing.  My Pastor says God is sovereign.  Yes, He is, over His Word!  I'm going to get past this, but right now my faith is shaken.  If speaking the Word didn't work for my mom to receive healing, then what makes me think it will work for me or anyone else.  I know we don't base our belief of God's word on anyone elses experience but only on the fact that God can't lie.  So if He doesn't lie, and my mom was confessing His Word, why didn't she get healed?  I have her journals up until the last year of her life.  They are full of the Word and confessions and prayers and answers to prayers.  I haven't found the journal for the last year and wonder if she started saying opposite due to the medicine she was on.  Even so, would one year wipe out a lifetime of speaking the Word?  Questions....  Is it important? Yes, because I need to build my faith back up.  I'm reading the Word and asking and praying in tongues.  I need to know why it was possible for her to die this way.  How can I pray again in faith using the Word?
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3 Keys to my Overcoming

I was asked to lead worship on Sunday morning.  I said, Yes.  I think God wants me to share what I've been learning as I'm going through the process of sadness over my mom moving to heaven.  I'm going to put here what my words might be on Sunday.  I'll let the Holy Spirit change it as He wants.
 
I will bless the Lord at ALL TIMES; His praise will continually be in my mouth.  Thank you for your prayers and cards. I appreciate your patience with me as I go through this time of missing my mom. I have a wonderful heritage. She taught her children the Word and to worship from birth. 
 
I've found three keys so far that are getting me through the hard moments. I'd like to share them with you in our worship time as they apply to not just sadness over a loved one moving Home, but to other areas of life such as healing, financial freedom, relationship mending.  These are in the order that God has brought them to me.
 
#1 - Is. 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.  Praise God in English and praise God in tongues using the Word as your source.  (Sing I Will Enter His Gates, Garment of Praise (David Ingle's song), and Praise the Lord, Hallelu (Don Francisco's song))
 
#2 - Is. 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.  Renew your mind with the peace of God.  Whenever the tears fall and my heart is breaking and I feel I can't go on, I choose to allow the peace of God to flood my mind.  He immediately takes away the hurt and pain.  (Sing Let the Peace of God Reign (Darlene Zch.'s song)
 
#3 - Ps. 71:24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.  Confuse the devil.  I choose to sing, laugh, shout, clap and do the opposite of what the devil is prompting me to do.  It messes with his mind and plans and I get happy!  (Sing Shout to the Lord and How Great Is Our God).
 
 
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Galoshes of Gloom

God is so funny!  I've been singing in my spirit Put on the Garment of Praise but yesterday I just couldn't do it.  It was right before I had to go up and play the keyboard  for worship and I had an emotional breakdown.  Pastor's wife prayed for me and then the church prayed too (a little embarrassed as I was hoping no one would notice my red eyes...not to be).  God used my broken heart to minister to people during the service and at the same time gave me peace.  Pastor spoke on renewing our minds and I knew I had to allow the Prince of Peace into my mind at the times when I feel like bawling.  It actually does work to focus on the peace of God exactly when you feel like crying. 
Today, Monday, I went to the bank and the calendar at the tellers window was a Barbara Johnson daily.  It said, "Instead of wearing galoshes of gloom, we need to wrap ourselves in the garment of praise"  and listed my verse, Is. 61:3.  God reminded me at the bank that I need to keep that garment on all the time. 
 
I think, too, that I need to double up on the Word and praying in tongues.  I really don't feel like it but I think it might help me get through this season easier and with more joy.  Right now....joy is not in the vocabulary.  Hmmm....could be another direction to go....I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart.  Well, not right now; but if I keep singing maybe it will happen sooner than otherwise?
 
Thank you for the comments on my Garments of Praise post.  That was sooooo encouraging to me.  Made me feel like crying LOL!  I didn't. 
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The Garment of Praise

Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, lift up your voice to God.
Pray in the Spirit and with understanding. O magnify the Lord.
 
God woke me up with Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
 
My Mom died on February 2nd.  I've been crying a lot because I miss her and yet I know exactly where she is and that she is happy.  But I'm not.  I have a wonderful Mom.  We talked a lot.  We shared the Word together, cooking, crafting.  I'm the oldest of seven and my Dad is still here.  There are 25 grandchildren and soon to be 6 greats.  I have a huge responsibility to take up where she left off in praying and encouraging them.  I never wanted children and now I've got 37! 
 
I've known before she left that I needed to be praying in the Spirit but I couldn't seem to open my mouth except in short bursts and then I'd burst out in tears.  I am convinced; however, that praying in tongues will bring back the joy.  God has already brought peace and comfort.  I'm surrounded by many friends.  Unfortunately, my family is all eight hours away.  I want to encourage them to praise and pray in the Spirit too.  So family, if you are reading this, "sing, Silas, sing!". 
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Scriptures to Build a Business On

I was reading old forum posts and saw one that listed some scriptures to meditate on for businesses.  I thought these were good and am listing some here for a reminder to me that God gave me the business of Shades ETC and He will promote it even in times of "economic crisis".

  1. Isaiah 48:17 (Amplified Bible) Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God, Who teaches you to profit, Who leads you in the way that you should go. (Holy Spirit be my teacher today as I go about my business and lead me in the paths I should take.)

  2. Deuteronomy 28:12 (Amplified Bible) The Lord shall open to you His good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain of your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.  (Thank You that I always have enough to give; I am enriched in all things; You minister seed to me for sowing and I reap a harvest of blessing.)

  3. Psalm 35:27-28 (Amplified Bible) Let those who favor my righteous cause and have pleasure in my uprightness shout for joy and be glad and say continually, Let the Lord be magnified, Who takes pleasure in the prosperity of His servant. And my tongue shall talk of Your righteousness, rightness, and justice, and of [my reasons for] Your praise all the day long.  (Hallelujah)   

  4. Joshua 1:7-9 (Amplified Bible) Only you be strong and very courageous, that you may do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you. Turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success. Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Thank You, that You are with me now as I go about my business and making products for customers to buy.)

 

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Ole gets a cell phone

Ole got a new cell phone, and on his way home on the freeway, he called his wife, Lena.
"Hello, Lena. I'm calling you from the freeway on my new cell phone."
Lena says, "Be careful, Ole. The radio says that some nut is driving the wrong way on the freeway."
Ole say,s "One nut, my eye. There are hundreds of them!"
 
I'm so thankful for my bluetooth headset so I can drive without my hands on the cell phone.  It's against the law here in NY to talk on the cell phone while driving unless using a headset.  It is amazing to me how many people still use the cell phone while driving.  And while I'm at it, it is so rude to be talking on the phone while at the store, checking out.  And can't you even go to the bathroom without talking to someone!  Come on, what's the deal with all the talking?!  I'm ranting I know.  Okay, I'll go back to stripping wallpaper now.
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God answers prayer? When?

Isaiah 65:24 (Amplified Bible) And it shall be that before they call I will answer; and while they are yet speaking I will hear.

1 John 5:14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

I've been thinking about why I'm not seeing answers to prayers.  I have two witnesses that say that God hears and answers when I pray.  I know the one too about believe and not doubt in your heart.  I feel that I'm believing in my heart.  I want to see the manifestation of what I'm believing for.  It's already mine; it's in the heavenly storehouse....or is it on it's way to me like it was Daniel.  I wonder why sometimes it seems to take so long to get what we are praying for.  What I am asking for is God's will and I have scriptures to stand on ... healing.  I'm not giving up, just questioning why it seems like my prayers are not being answered.

   

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